Alot of things that went wrong all at once.

Well, I am a naturally happy person. And so, when there is reason to be unhappy, it's a rather horrible and different feeling. 3 things have gone wrong in the last week, 2 of them massive, and rather unfortunately, one other small thing which was enough to push me over the edge, from being able to look on the bright side, to being unable to see that silver lining. No. 1: I have noticed that when I am being myself, no masks, no blocks, just raw me, I am a loud, immature, idiotic fool, who couldn't care less what everyone else thinks, (I know that sounds stereotypical but it's true). I couldn't care less, because I know my friends couldn't care less either. Except one. Except this one friend, who turns out to be one of my best friends. I find it difficult to be myself around him lately, as, whether he is joking or not, manages to bring me down from cloud nine with his comments about things. Things such as when I am doing something stupid, he doesn't want to be seen with me, he doesn't like the attention, I fear, but I hope not, that he is afraid of being judged, which would explain alot. (Oh and guess what? While I was just writing that, I had a great arguement with my dear mother. They just keep coming, list of bad things = 4) I can't be my crazy self around him, which is kinda gay, and so I am going to just ignore his comments until he gets used to it. No. 2: At my school, one which is equivalent to a prison, as it has camera's and all rules are punished moste servely, it is impossible for boys to be boys. They say we are 'young men', but we are 15, and don't want to grow up just yet. But so many of the people in my school have been brainwashed into thinking that they are too old for practical jokes, too old to be foolish and immature, and they are too scared to occaisionally break the rules for a laugh, they are too scared to face the consequences if they do something wrong for a joke, and so, they do nothing wrong. I am one of the few remaining people who still wants to be a kid, one of the few remaining who would break the rules for a laugh. And on the occaisions when I do do something rebelious, I am payed out, because "ooh la la, we are supposed to be adults you immature child blah blah lala". FUCKING FUCK THEY ARE ALL RETARDED. THEY ARE NOT ADULTS, THEY ARE STILL CHILDREN. It's like I am Fred Weasley and everyone else in the frickin school is Percy. What the teachers at the school don't understand is that if the need should arise, I have no doubt we 15/16 yr olds could step up to the plate and be mature. But they have forced it upon us to be mature and adult when there is no need for it, they are ruining our childhood, they are not letting boys be boys. FUCKING FUCK FUCK. And finally, No. 3: There is one person who is getting on my nerves, so much so, that he has made the list, the list of people who I have given all the second chances they deserve and now I shall hate for all eternity. This list contains only two others. And for fear that they might be killed by all the avid readers of my blog who would seek to take revenge on them for me, I shall not mention their names (lolololololol). He made this list on Friday, congratulations boy, you have just made yourself a lifelong enemy. In short, you're fucked.